


Let Me Down

by araliya



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 16:26:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15100613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/araliya/pseuds/araliya
Summary: Friendswithbenefits!CC. Of the angsty sort. Early-ish!CC.





	Let Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> Title and Lyrics from Jorja Smith's Let Me Down.

It just sort of- happens.

 

Darren doesn’t plan it, much less does he realise he’s even attracted to Chris. That is, until he’s got his tongue down his throat, pushing his palms up under his shirt, feeling the broad planes of his back and thinking-  _huh_.

 

They don’t plan making out on Naya Rivera's balcony barely weeks after they first meet, nor do they plan stumbling out of the apartment to have sex in the back of Chris’ car.

 

And every single time after that, every touch, kiss, caress, just- happens. Darren doesn’t even  _try_  to resist the inexplicable pull he feels to Chris- the one where he can’t walk into a room without searching for him, where he can’t stand within two feet of him and not reach out.

 

So he falls into Chris’ life, and Chris lets him.

 

***

 

_(only you can understand why)_

 

He and Chris don’t talk about it. In hindsight, they really should have.

 

Darren tells himself they’re just friends- friends who find comfort under the sheets sometimes, and Chris- Chris doesn’t say anything at all.

 

***

 

_(I've got you to let me down)_

 

The lies don’t seem so bad as long as they remain their warped version of ‘friends’. It’s not exclusive, they’ve never  _really_  brought feelings into the whole thing, and having a boyfriend would be fairly inconvenient for the both of them.

 

Chris doesn’t mention love unless one of his characters is falling into it, and Darren doesn’t see a reason to bring it up out of the blue.

 

So it’s easy, when his team asks him whether he has any commitments he wants to consider before extending his contract, to say no.

 

***

 

_(these feelings never come to plan)_

 

When Darren tells him, Chris shuts down before his very eyes. Darren can see it plain as day, the way his back stiffens, his mouth tightens into a firm line, his eyes turn stormy and slate-coloured.

 

Maybe Darren was hoping he’d be hurt. That might have been confirmation that he’d meant at least something to him.

 

Instead, Chris is angry. He shakes so hard his words stutter and stumble, and Darren is sure he’s about to throw the glass in his hand across the room, to shatter musically against the wall.

 

But the storm leaves his eyes, his fist unclenches, and his shoulders drop; defeated.

 

Chris tells Darren to leave, and so he does.

 

***

 

_(where'd you go when you can't get to me)_

 

Darren should have fought for him, and like almost everything else he realises, the thought comes too late.

 

Too late meaning the second he steps out of Chris’ door. He knows he can’t go back in there, he can’t face him again. Darren thinks, if he concentrates really hard, that he can hear Chris crying.

 

He doesn’t know it, but that night, he leaves his heart on Chris Colfer’s doorstep.

 

*

 

Around everyone else, they’re fine. They have to be- for the cameras and for their characters. Chris is as kind and witty as usual, and to anyone else, nothing would seem amiss.

 

Darren can see the wall, though, and it hurts to know that it’s been designed to keep Darren out.

 

*

 

Months pass by, and he is all but a ghost of himself. He goes on a tour that should be a celebration of himself, but just turns out to be the shell of what he’s supposed to be: dreamy, talented, and in love with a woman.

 

In reality, Darren reckons he’s the opposite: cowardly, worthless, and in love with a man.

 

***

 

_(and you just can't control)_

 

They’re older, and Darren doesn’t know why it had to take him years to simply understand something he’d known inherently for just as long.

 

He supposes it’s fitting that they find each other where they always do- under the sheets. Darren feels Chris on him, inside him, and all around him, right down to his fucking bones. He feels like home.

 

(Maybe Darren tells him he loves him that night. Maybe Chris smiles because he knows.)

 

***

 

 _Come ti vidi_  
_M’innamorai,_  
 _E tu sorridi_  
 _Perché lo sai._

_When I saw you I fell in love,  
and you smiled because you knew._

_\- Arrigo Boito_


End file.
